Deconstruction

This natural cycle of conscious dismantling isn’t easy to love.

Photo by Nick Kwan on Unsplash

Enter the phase of the archetypical destroyer, the chaotic dismemberment of an old life, the dissolution of the caterpillar into liquid, the fire or mold that takes everything back to earth and dust. Enter the space of bags to the thrift store and garage sales of things that represent dreams and lifestyles you won’t be having, at least right now. Enter the breaking of eggshells; the letting go, the discipline of surrender to what was and is no longer supportive in this configuration. This is the tower card in tarot, the tornado, and the bridge that falls into the river. It is ‘the taking apart’ to see what you’ve got to work with as you recreate a life, a project, a relationship, or a way of being. Break it down.

This phase is hard to love. Usually, we want to skip over it or speed through it if possible. It hurts not knowing what to do, especially in a culture that requires defining yourself to make money. But this phase is easier to enter consciously when we feel that something has to change; that is a sign that deconstruction is coming. It can be invigorating when we know it is upon us and participate in this deconstruction with a plan and energy to let things fall away. When it hits us out of nowhere—you lose your job, your partner asks for a divorce, a pillar in your life dies—being taken on that ride feels like falling backward into chaos. I strive to skydive face first with a patched parachute; feel it, and face it with as much finesse as possible.

When you recognize what is happening and choose to participate in the destruction that will lead to a reconfiguration and rebirth, energy and creativity will return to you. The possibilities will be like the stars you see in the dark sky; it’s hard to see new glimmers in the daylight.

You will realize that the unknown promises growth, pleasure, and potential that your old life was stifling from existence. You enter the receptive yin space of allowing and letting things unfold. Listening and seeing connections are the most important things to do now. Being comfortable with the uncertainty while not capping what is possible or being too negative about suggestions. You are in a dance class, not driving a highway. Be willing to spin, twirl, fall, laugh, and cry with eyes closed. The inner is preparing for a new focus; it takes a dance with the creative feminine to create that new vision. Find that inner light to see.

And, to do all this requires letting the old go. Call in the sacred turkey vultures, fungi, and beetles to clean up the dead. Offer what you did and who you were to the compost pile. Keep the few precious things you need, but know that creativity requires entering the unknown and being willing to get things out of the way that no longer serve the new vision coming into being as you take another step into the fertile darkness, the womb of progressive revelation.